Dear God- You have one hell of a sense of humor. That’s all I have to say to that.
Dear Vets- Happy Memorial Day! Thank you for all you do. Special thanks go out to my brother in law, Ben. Love lots.
Dear Dirty Old Man- I cannot believe you elbowed my ass. I know my big booty Judy-ness is hard to miss, but for you to elbow it? Geez!
Dear Lil- To answer your question, every Asian event involves karaoke because where else would the stereotype come from? Now, what is 24 multiplied by 24?
Dear Healthy Food- I cheated on you this weekend with Taco Bell and a million carbs…. I’m such a slut. To Tiger Woods: Is this where I plead that I have an addiction? Advice needed as I am new to this defense.
Dear Galveston- Pleasure Pier? That just sounds dirty…. Why would you name an amusement park that? Plus, why build an amusement park in hurricane alley? Are we taking cues from the peeps that built New Orleans?
Dear Vodka- Come hang out by the pool with me today. No worries. My pool isn’t very busy so we can chill in peace.
Dear Friday- I’m worried that you will be here sooner than I want you to be this week. Hopefully you will bring me good news.