Throughout college and now even in my late 20s, I have played the female Dr. Phil for many of my girlfriends. Unfortunately, I couldn’t always yell the most obvious advice at them like I wanted to. I could never fault them for their boy troubles. Every girl, at some point, will have her spirits down trodden by relationship woes.
“Expectation is the root cause of all heartache.”- Unknown
There are 5 signs I have always personally used to identify when my relationship was heading south with no hope for return. By sharing these signs, I hope that you will be able to ward off the “breakup” that comes as a result of letting these situations fester.
- Inconsistent Perception- He sees it one way. You see it another way. A difference of opinion is very healthy in a relationship. However, when bickering, it is important to understand why the other individual is upset. If he negatively misinterprets why you are upset on a consistent basis, then this will lead to resentment on his part as well as yours. The same is true for you ladies. You cannot misunderstand why he is upset without some repercussions.
- Communication Lockdown- “I can’t tell you ANYTHING!” Sound familiar? If everything is bottled up inside, eventually someone will blow up. Partners are supposed to confide in each other without judgement or annoyance. If that isn’t the case, then kiss your relationship goodbye.
- Minimal Adoration- Appreciation and gratitude is key in a loving relationship. If either person begins to feel taken for granted, resentment once again can creep in. The person who feels taken for granted will become upset. The accused will become just as upset because they feel they have shown plenty of appreciation and gratitude. In this situation, if the “accused” feels they have done plenty, the situation will only get worse.
- Running With The Wolf Pack- “You are too clingy. I need space.” Halt in your tracks ladies. When you hear that or any variation of “we spend too much time together,” pick up your things and leave. A guy that is worried about space is one that is still looking to run with the wolf pack, which means singledom is his goal. Time apart is definitely necessary so that you don’t get sick of one another. Of course this can mean that you go to your dance classes or happy hours with the girls while he does his guy thing with the boys. The key difference here is that him doing his thing with the guys isn’t a sign of wanting singledom. It’s just him hanging out with his friends. When the words “you are clingy” or “we spend everyday together” come out of his mouth, he’s either craving the hunt again or he’s already interested in someone else.
- I love you, uh huh- Find yourself saying it all the time and him only saying it in response? Do I really need to say more?
So ladies, in my friend advice giving days, I always viewed these as the signs that every girl needed to look out for. My views haven’t changed one bit because many of these 5 signs still lead to the same result when they couldn’t be stopped. If you notice these signs, work on communicating with your partner to discuss how you can avoid these pitfalls. If your partner does not acknowledge the problems or decides to use a wolf pack line, abandon ship. There is no sense in working on something that only you are invested in. Happy dating ladies, and remember, there are more fish in the sea.
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Congratulations to my wonderful friends Annalise Larkin and Chris Ball. I am beyond excited that two of my most favorite people are getting married today!
